How to Write Sympathy Letters and Notes
Are you saddened but unsure about how best to express your deep feelings in the face of sorrow or tragedy? In sympathy situations, friends and family have the greatest need to hear from you. Don’t leave them wondering about your lack of concern.
- Begin your letter or note with a straightforward comment about your feelings—your sadness, your shock, your sorrow, or your concern.
Examples:
“I was so shocked to hear the news of …”“I want to express my deepest sympathy about …”“I am so sorry to learn that …” - Mention something positive you remember about the individual or, if you did not know him or her personally, recall something you’ve heard others say.
Examples:
“I know you depended so much on your father’s advice. I’ve heard you say so many times how knowledgeable he was about …”“I remember how much his calls to me meant back in college days …” - Let the reader know that you understand the extent of the loss or the painful situation in the case of a misfortune. But do show sensitivity. Avoid adding gruesome details or increasing the pain.
Examples (to avoid):
“All the family photos gone—you’ll never have baby pictures to show!”“Divorces can get nasty, I know. But it can’t get much worse than what this jerk has already done to you!”“You’re young. You can always have another baby.” - If possible, and if you’re sincere, offer to help in some specific way:
Examples:
babysitting, food, donations to cover some necessary expense, extra time to assume some responsibility for a few days or weeks, emotional support, transportation, errands - Be brief. You don’t need to go into all the details of the situation—how you heard the news or what so-and-so told you. Your caring concern in “I am so sorry” speaks volumes.
- Close with a comforting phrase—a final thought that reflects your concern and is appropriate to your relationship with the person.
Examples:
“You’re in our thoughts and prayers.”“My heart goes out to you during this difficult time.”“We’ll be thinking of you in the weeks ahead.”“We share in your loss.”“Please know that we love you.”“With deepest sympathy for your loss.” - Make your words genuine and personal—as if you were talking face to face. This is not a task that you should delegate to someone else.
- Use your personal stationery or card. Typically, you should write the note by hand. But if you’re writing to a business colleague or client, a typed letter is acceptable—depending on the closeness of the association.
If you’d like to make the sympathy letter writing process even easier, we can help even more. If you still can’t find the right words to express comfort, try our professionally written package of sympathy letters and notes.
You’ll find sample sympathy letters for both personal and business situations:
Personal Sympathy and Business Sympathy Letters
- Death of a child
- Death of a parent
- Death of a spouse
- Death of other relatives
- Miscarriage
- Death of pet
- Personal failures
- Disaster—loss of home
- Disaster—loss of business
- Business failure
- Financial ruin
- Loss of job—friend
- Loss of job—coworker
- Get well soon
- Terminal illness—friend
- Terminal illness—acquaintance
- Wedding—cancelled
- Divorce—to parents of those getting divorce
- Divorce—to friend or relative getting divorce
- Criminal conviction
- Crime victim
How to Use This Sympathy Letter and Notes Package
You have two choices. Either...
1. Download the PDF package and select the sample sympathy letter you need. Then copy and paste it into Microsoft Word or any other word processor. Send it out.
2. Read samples to “get the flavor” of what the sympathy letter or note should say. Then “pick and choose” sentences you like to use in composing your own sympathy letter or note.
14-Day, No-Risk Guarantee!
Total Number of Letters: 40
Total Number of Situations/Topics: 24
For help with other letter writing tasks, check out these packages:
How to Write Apology Letters and Notes
How to Write Reference Letters and Recommendation Letters
How to Write Thank You Letters and Notes
Successful Sales and Marketing Letters
Special Bonus!
Bonus eBook: Write to the Point by Dianna Booher
This 48-page eBook contains 44 tips to help you write clear, concise, complete documents quickly—and get the action you intend.
If you need a sympathy letter to show someone you care and you don’t want to waste time trying to find the right words, let us help.
